'Thin is from Pluto?' and new crop of diet books
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Holiday eating season is just around the corner, so for inspiration, I looked to the latest crop of diet books. I've got thousands out in the barn - in fact, I built the barn out of diet books - and they just keep on coming.
Diet books are like weeds: rip 'em, burn 'em, whack 'em with a stick - they love it. Maybe you can get rid of one, but you better believe that two more will take its place.
But before I toss them out there, let me run through a few for you:
"Maria Shaw's Astro Diet: The Amazing Breakthrough Diet Based on Your
Zodiac Sign!"
I was eating this up until about page 11, where Maria starts gushing about the transformative power of Pluto, which isn't even a planet anymore.
"UltraMetabolism: The Simple Plan for Automatic Weight Loss." By Dr. Mark Hyman
Goodness knows I've tried getting the right instructions to my genes, but they just say I'm not the boss of them and party harder than ever. According to Hyman, we've got thyroids that do nothing but lounge around all day by the pool and livers as toxic as an EPA Superfund site. Hyman spends a lot of time yakking about internal inflammation and government conspiracies to keep America fat. There's no question that government food policy caters to food producers, but I'm not sure knowing that is going to stop me from a midnight scarfing of ice cream.
"The Ultimate New York Diet: The Fastest Way to a Trimmer You!" By
David Kirsch
This diet is a no-brainer: stop eating, lose weight. Phase 1 cuts out every food worth spit: bread, starchy carbs, dairy, sweets, fruit and alcohol for two weeks. (Hmmmmm - can you say, "Atkins"?) Breakfast during "Phase 1" consists of 10 ounces of mineral water, five ice cubes and one scoop vanilla-flavored whey protein powder - or use Kirsch's Vanilla Protein Powder, one of the supplements from his food company (how convenient!). Kirsch includes recipes - Cauliflower Hash, anyone? - and his trademark excruciating workouts. I have no doubt anybody on this diet regimen will lose weight, but you may also lose your mind.
n Might work for: Anyone who needs to be ready to wear a skin-tight teddy on a runway eight weeks after giving birth, like supermodel/Kirsch client Heidi Klum.
"The Fat Smash Diet."
Dr. Ian K. Smith.
Despite the goofy name, it's a sensible diet that isn't painfully restrictive and includes moderate exercise recommendations. There are 80 pages of recipes, which isn't a bad thing, except that there are only 141 pages in the whole dang book. Come to think of it, that's not a bad thing, either.
"The Vice-Busting Diet: A 12-Week Plan to Break Your Worst Food Habits and Change Your Life Forever." By Julia Griggs Havey
"The Fat Resistance Diet." By Dr. Leo Galland.
