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Column

Dear Abby: Woman's co-worker's ridicule her extreme aversion to blood

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.

Dear Abby,

I’m a 30-year-old female who has extreme hemophobia. I cannot see blood or hear people talk about anything blood-related. I pass out when my blood is drawn, and I cannot have a finger-prick blood test either. It’s even difficult for me to write this message.

I work in an office and I have told my co-workers about my problem and asked them to please avoid the topic when I’m present. They think my request is unreasonable and that I’m just being silly. When someone brings up the subject, I quickly leave the room, sit down out of earshot and put my head between my legs. Then they laugh at me. When I mentioned this problem to my supervisor, he said he doesn’t feel there is anything he can do about it because it’s not a subject that is against company policy or taboo.

I’m just looking for some compassion and understanding from my co-workers. I don’t want to have to find another job, but I can’t keep running for cover every day, and I don’t want to pass out and injure myself. How can I make them see that this is a real medical problem and I’m not just looking for attention?

– Passing Out in Missouri

Dear Passing Out,

Unless you work in a doctor’s office or a blood bank, I fail to see why the subject of blood would come up on a regular basis. Because your co-workers know how it affects you, I can only assume that they are either extremely thoughtless and insensitive, or do it intentionally to upset you or make you sick.

Raise the subject again with your supervisor. Explain that you don’t want to look for another job and what they’re doing is creating the opposite of a friendly work environment. If he still won’t intervene, consider discussing your problem with a mental health professional who specializes in phobias, because there may be a therapy that can help to lessen or even eliminate your condition.

Dear Abby,

I am wondering about the use of the term “fiancee.” Urban Dictionary says it is now considered a “White Trash culture” term for a long-term girlfriend. I’m beginning to hear it used more and more often by people I certainly would not think of as white trash. Is there another way to refer to a significant other when no wedding is planned or a date set? Do other cultures or languages have a word for this?

– Wondering
About Words

Dear Wondering,

“Fiancee” is a word of French origin that is defined as “a woman engaged to be married.” When couples cohabitate with no plan to marry, the term they often use when referring to their significant other is “partner.” Of course, our culture is more liberal than some others that label those who choose to live this way as “fornicators.” While other cultures may have terms for it, I am unfamiliar with them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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