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NBA taunts Bulls with schedule

Published: Thursday, Aug. 14, 2014 11:53 p.m. CDT

Wait, that’s not an NBA schedule, that’s just taunting the Bulls. 

Did you see their first two games? It’s a painful summer rerun of all their painful summers filled with failed free agency and failed trade efforts.

The Bulls open the season in New York against Carmelo Anthony, who chose to take all the money, so he’ll have nobody good to play with, but still, the Bulls won’t have him, either.

Two nights later, the Bulls play their home opener against LeBron James and the new Eastern Conference champions, who outbid the Bulls for Kevin Love, as Illinois remains the top flyover state for top players.

So, the Bulls took free-agency leftovers, and will try to tell us that depth and defense are the second star on this team behind Derrick Rose like they did before, and how did that work out?

Rose said this season’s roster is the “most talented team I’ve played on." Unfortunately, Love and Kyrie Irving can say the same thing.

Drake recruited Kevin Durant to the Raptors. Rose recruited Kirk Hinrich, but not James or Anthony. So, yeah, rappers are smarter than some point guards.

How many points will Rose have to score to overcome the image his handlers have created?

The Bulls’ Christmas Day game against the Lakers at home will be the only time Carlos Boozer will be cheered for playing his special brand of fake, loud defense.

The NBA is suing Donald Sterling for “devastating and incalculable harm" caused by his recorded comments denigrating blacks. Yes. Well. OK. But how exactly can the NBA calculate the damages it wants to recover?

Charles Wang pulled out of a deal to sell the Islanders for $420 million when he heard about the Clippers’ being sold for $2 billion. Does Wang know he owns the Islanders, and that they play in the NHL?

After Roger Goodell handed Ray Rice a laughable two-game suspension for beating a woman senseless, the NFL reportedly is considering stiffer penalties for domestic abusers. Anybody with a clue would ban a player for an entire season, but Goodell will start with sending the player to his room without dessert.

Quick, someone tell the White Sox to stop worrying about blocking the plate and start blocking the bullpen.

You know who else got hosed, Robin? Fans who sat through your putting Adam Dunn in right field.

It’s obvious how Cubs-centric this two-team town is, but the bar for Javy Baez is set by Jose Abreu.

The Cubs continue to call up shortstops and put them at second base and center field and watch them produce hope. The Sox still can’t get rid of their shortstop or second baseman, as they produce hopelessness.

Kyle Hendricks, your table is ready.

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