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Husband’s plumbing help results in leaky marriage

Published: Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2014 1:15 a.m. CDT

Dear Abby,

I have been with my husband for 19 years. I offered his plumbing services to a married couple I work with. While he was fixing the problem, he became friendly with their adult daughter. She was lonely, and I knew the family, so I wasn’t concerned. Their relationship developed into something more and we separated. He ended their friendship and we reconciled.

Things were going great, but she continued to contact him. He has suddenly decided he can’t live without her friendship and has decided to divorce me in order to continue it with her. He swears it’s platonic, but something he can’t live without. He hopes we can “still be friends!”

My question is how to move on from this. I have to see her enabling parents every day at work, and all of this happened under their roof. I feel betrayed on every level, especially by my husband, who was my best friend. Every aspect of my life, including my job, has been affected.

Have you any advice for moving past this without all of the anger I carry? I don’t want to leave my job. It pays well and the commute is easy. But every time I see either one of the parents, I want to cry and scream.

P.S. My husband and I still live together as “roommates,” as this is all very recent, and we haven’t figured out our living arrangements yet.

– Wronged in
New England

Dear Wronged,

I do not for one minute believe that your husband’s relationship with this woman is strictly platonic, and neither should you. Consult a lawyer now, while you and your husband are still “roommates.” Make sure he doesn’t hide any assets because, after 19 years of marriage, you should be entitled to a healthy share of them.

I agree that you have been wronged, but for now hang onto your temper. “Best friends” don’t treat each other the way you have been treated. It may take the help of a religious adviser or licensed mental health professional for you to let go of your anger.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

 

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