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Still plenty cold for pigs

Published: Friday, Jan. 10, 2014 1:15 a.m. CDT

This letter is in reference to the recent article concerning the well-being of the pigs on Farmer Koster’s pig operation. This is the one in town adjacent to Applebee’s.

Apparently numerous, concerned residents expressed fear about the health of the pigs. Farmer Koster explained that the pigs are protected because they “cuddle.” 

Well, I drive by the pig farm several times a week, and I decided to see whether, in fact, they were cuddling, and lo and behold, they were. However, as I was standing there, two pigs came over and started talking to me. They were actually very eloquent.

They asked whether I knew Farmer Koster. I said I did not. They then expressed great concern about his compassion.

“The man is crazy,” they said. “We are freezing. How would he like to be standing outside naked, covered in his own excrement? Next he will be telling you we do not stink.”

They then turned around in silence and cuddled.

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