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Monkeys are gaining on humans

Published: Friday, July 26, 2013 1:15 a.m. CDT

Is this some type of prophecy coming true? I frankly am a bit worried. My concerns arise from two recent headlines on the news page of Google.

The first was “Chimpanzees and orangutans remember distant past events.” The second read “Memory decline [in humans] may be earliest sign of dementia.” Am I nuts or are they saying that monkeys are becoming more astute at the same time we humans are losing it?

Does this mean that sometime in the future the chimpanzees will be running the world, while we sit around eating bananas, scratching our private parts and throwing our excrement at passersby?

Now that’s depressing.

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