If you haven’t figured out by now that I wear my heart on my sleeve, then you, sir or ma’am, have not been paying attention.
I described the borderline traumatizing scene that played out when I tried to run the Reagan while sick as a dog last year. I’ve shared more information about our first pregnancy than my wife would probably prefer. For crying out loud, I even told you what my body-fat percentage is and take off my shirt on video weekly while Bryan Frederick checks said measurements.
Each and every team has played at least half its regular-season games. So, in sticking with the theme, I’ll celebrate by sharing some of the calls I got decisively wrong – I’ll sprinkle in a couple I got right, for this delicate flower’s confidence’s sake – in my 2013 fantasy baseball prognostication.
• Sell high on Mariners 1B Michael Morse (April 6): Right out of the gate, my very first Sell High pick was a standup triple, folks. The only thing that prevented me from sliding into home with an inside-the-parker is that there’s a lot of season left. After hitting four homers in his first 16 at-bats, he’s hit seven in his last 191, punctuated by two stints on the DL which (puffs chest) I told you would happen.
• Sell high on Mets SP Matt Harvey (April 13): And … facepalm. Similarly, a few weeks after that, I told you to do the same with D’backs starter Patrick Corbin. Yeah, their ERAs have seen an uptick. From 0.62 to
2.00 and 1.52 to 2.22, respectively.
They’re two of the brightest young pitching stars in the game. My bad. My very, very bad.
• Tampa Bay OF Wil Myers could be called up by my next column (April 27): Almost 2 months later, it happened. And, yes, he’s hitting the ball quite hard. I just have to apologize if you would’ve had a better use for that roster spot for the 8 weeks we waited for the Rays to realize they needed him.
• The May 4 edition (May 4, silly): This one’s a mixed bag, man. First and foremost, I’m
beginning to feel like Kevin Gregg is the egg that simply won’t come off my face.
I’ve told you to sell high on him twice, and he just saves game after game. Yes, an earned run allowed in three straight appearances isn’t good.
But it jacked his ERA all the way up to … 1.65. Ugh. Just Gregg it up, already, would you? You’re making me look stupid!
BUT! Vernon Wells has flat-out stunk pretty much since I used his name in public. Neat-o, gang.
• Sell high on Cubs 1B Anthony Rizzo (May 11): He’s hit just .229 with three of his 12 homers since I suggested you look for a Cubbie apologist and swap him for two of his top-35 players. That advice gets a gold star. Put it on the fridge, ma!
• Buy low on White Sox 1B Paul Konerko (May 18): Sure, he’s boosted his average from .231 to .253. But it matters little if he’s not hitting for power. Three homers since then and no one getting on base, in the event he actually gets a hold of one. Sorry. Bad advice there.
• Sell high on Pirates SP Francisco Liriano (May 25): All he’s done since that advice ran is post five starts in which he’s given up two or fewer runs and struck out 42 batters in 42 2/3 innings. The pain this man has caused me in years past blurred my vision. He’s suddenly steady and solid, with a lineup that will bail him out if he lapses.
• Don’t start Reds SP Bronson Arroyo in
Colorado (June 1): I got some good news the
following Wednesday: SVM Executive Editor Larry Lough reads my column. The bad news? He’s probably the guy who should be writing this column. He forewent my advice and started Arroyo, who threw eight scoreless. Yeah, he only struck out three. But eight scoreless in Colorado? Impressive.
• Spot start Reds SP Bronson Arroyo in
Oakland: OK, so I didn’t write about that one. But I picked him up for a spot start last Tuesday, and he was knocked around to the tune of seven earned in four innings. It was the first and last time I’ll own Bronson Arroyo, or offer advice regarding him.
The Hot Corner
Let’s Get Some Chatter Goin’
This week’s banter
If you could watch a ballgame with anyone, who would it be and why?
Last week’s topic
What’s the best giveaway you’ve gotten at a game?
Pitch the Commish
Play in a holds league? Then you understand the importance of holds. The commish is picking Braves setup man Jordan Walden. If your pick has more holds this week, you get an invite to the SVM League next season.
Send responses to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet them to him (@CHeimerman_SVM). Also, look for questions on Facebook (Sauk Valley Sports).
Buy low: Justin Verlander, Detroit SP: He’s had a sub-par season, by his standard. But as the playoff chase heats up, I want gamers on my roster. Dude’s a gamer. Go get him.
Sell high: Raul Ibanez, Mariners OF: There’s always a guy desperate for power (the author included). Ibanez just turned 41, so get something back for his 21 bombs before he hits the wall.