No one knows what fear, terror, and trauma feel like to go through, unless you’ve been there.
You’re afraid to say the wrong thing or in the wrong way. You’re afraid you didn’t dust the house to the white glove test, and he will check. You’re afraid you’ll get beat up when he comes home drunk, his fists hitting your face over and over. Will he choke you or pull a knife or gun on you again? Will he break furniture with your body again?
You walk on egg shells. You don’t know what to expect. Will he explode and call you horrible, degrading names? The smell of alcohol on his breath causes you to tremble and hyperventilate for fear you will be beaten again. When the clock strikes 3 p.m., you tremble and hyperventilate again because you know he’s coming home.
What’s coming next? You don’t know. You feel helpless with low self-esteem caused from this abuse and the abuse also suffered in childhood. You finally find your courage and divorce him. He goes off to live with the woman he’s been having an affair with for the past few years.
Well, that’s what it’s like for a lot of women who have been terrified by their husbands, who acted more like monsters to them. But when you finally get out, it’s great; you’re free. You can live life again. Don’t be afraid to be brave; find your courage.
The Lord Jesus finally gave me the courage I needed to live without fear. He forgave my transgressions and gave me love and life eternal with him in heaven.
For help, call the YWCA hotline at 815-626-7277 or 815-288-1011.