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NHL commentary: Marathon game too crazy for words

CHICAGO – Triple overtime. A double deflection. A Blackhawks 4-3 win against the Boston Bruins.

Oh, man. Hockey is crazy.

No, that doesn’t do justice in describing this sport. Hockey is Krazy. Or maybe it’s KRAZEE.

Yes, I like that better.

Hockey is KRAZEE.

As for Wednesday’s extra-extra-extra breathless thriller between the Blackhawks and the Boston Bruins in the opening game of the Stanley Cup Finals? Well, no word exists for that level of crazy-Krazy-KRAZEE.

But we probably should get used to it, yeah?

Andrew Shaw netted
the game winner when he deflected a puck, which had been deflected one moment earlier, which had been fired by Michal Rozsival one moment earlier. The Hawks’ 63rd shot on goal finally was the knockout blow.

When the Hawks and Bruins arrived for Wednesday’s morning skate, they had fresh legs and hungry hearts. They were ready to partake in the first Original Six title matchup since 1979.

More than 13 hours later, they were on that same ice, skating in those same circles.

These are world-class athletes. They can survive these types of endurance tests.

What about the rest of us?

Don’t get me wrong. The game was unbelievably fantastic. The type of game you’ll never forget. The type of game that reminds you why sports is the best brand of reality TV out there.

But, holy hockey stick, it’s tough to sit still and watch.

At one point, I thought referees would stop the game to celebrate Jaromir Jagr’s 50th birthday. As the clock ticked past 11:45 p.m., I could have sworn the Blackhawk Indian logo at center ice blinked two times and yawned.

And what would happen if the overnight cleaning crews showed up? Would they sweep around the feet of bleary-eyed fans who had lost their voices long before?

Here’s what I know. It might be all I know.

Both teams had approximately 10 million chances to win the game.

Now, both teams will have 2 days to do whatever they need to do to restore their bodies.

Drink lots of milk. Take lots of naps. Light a scented candle and snuggle up to a good book.

The rest of us will not be so lucky.

We have alarm clocks to despise. We have toast to burn. We have jobs to (sort of) do.

In the meantime, players will try to water down the significance of Wednesday’s ultra marathon.

It’s just one game, the winners will say. We can’t afford to let up now.

It’s just one game, the losers will say. We need to forget about it and move forward.

But the truth is that Game 1 is kind of a big deal.

The Hawks’ series record is 30-10 when they win Game 1, and it’s 18-41 when they lose Game 1.

Again, math is not my strength. Nor is strength my strength. What my strength is, I’m not certain. I’d like to think that I have blossomed into a pretty good parallel parker. I also make omelets.

I’m getting off track.

What time is it, anyway?

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