Dear Abby: My husband and I read the letter you ran on Dec. 21 from "Dateless in Dayton." We have a few thoughts on the matter we'd like to share with him and anyone else who is having bad luck getting responses on dating websites.

We are middle-aged and have been together for two years. Even though we deactivated our memberships in the dating sites we were part of, we still get emails daily that "'So-and-So' sent you a message." It appears these sites still show our profiles as active, allowing people to try to contact us. So it's entirely possible that the women "Dateless" has contacted were inactive or expired members who were never able to see his messages.

We would like to reassure "Dateless" that the problem may not be him. We would also like to encourage him not to give up on finding a mate. He needs to get out there and do the things he loves because he may end up meeting someone that way. If he covers all his bases and is himself, he'll do OK. – Hoping To Be Helpful, Huntsville, Ala.