Dear Abby: My ex-wife cheated on me 5 years ago. She ran off with a nonworking criminal type and has been bouncing from place to place with this bozo ever since.
When they and their 3-year-old became homeless 2 weeks ago, all of a sudden she showed up at my door shoeless and with their son in a diaper. She said her boyfriend was abusive and asked to stay with me until she finds a place. I agreed under the provision that she not see this guy.
I am a hard-working single father of two. I know my heart is two sizes too big for my own good sometimes, and I don’t want to be taken advantage of. Abby, did I make the right choice? Or should I have told her she was not welcome and turned her and her son away?
I really feel I shouldn’t have to help her, and she should rely on her loser boyfriend – who she has started seeing again. I need guidance and your expert advice. Am I an idiot?
Dear Confused: You’re not an idiot; you’re a pushover. Your ex has already broken the agreement she made when you let her in. The situation is not going to get better; it will only become more complicated.
You have helped her for 2 weeks. Now it’s time to direct her to a shelter that can help her get her life back together and give her son a stable home. Your responsibility for her welfare ended when she left you for another man.
Dear Abby: Something has been bothering me and I’d like your opinion. If a group of people goes out to eat together, and no one wants to order dessert except one person, is it rude for that person to keep everyone else waiting and watching while he/she orders and eats the dessert?
– Check, Please
Dear Check, Please: It’s not rude if you first ask the others in the group if they would mind, and they wanted to chat over coffee.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.