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$53 million theft not yet accounted for

Published: Saturday, Feb. 2, 2013 1:15 a.m. CDT

Would it be reasonable to assume if someone is smart (or dumb) enough to steal $53 million, they would stash some for a rainy day? How much of the $53 million has really been accounted for?

I can see about three ways to plan my future after Valentine's Day, Feb. 14.

A) Be sitting on a South Seas island drinking a pińa colada;

B) Do myself great bodily harm; or

C) Spending about 15 years in a federal, low-dollar country club.

We, the people, have about 2 weeks to see the wisdom of the federal judge's granting recognizance bond. Myself, I would opt for “A” and hope the federal marshals don't find the island.

Oh, and strictly rumor has it, family members have bought three of the four Dixon properties. The other parcel by the party who hauled the huge pile of horse manure for nothing.

Wonderful – wouldn't that be a lot of the same pile?

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