Dear Abby: This is in response to "Had It in Hartford" (Oct. 6), who has been unhappily married to her husband for 20 years. She said she married him for all the wrong reasons and "has never loved him the way a woman should love a man."

After I had been married for 7 years, I went to my pastor concerned that the grass on the other side was looking greener than mine. As we spoke, I began to realize the extent of the investment I had put into my marriage and that I didn't want to start over again on a new one.

My mom always told me, "Marriage is not easy. You will always have to work on it. There will be times when you won't feel that you like him or love him." I have been married for 36 years now. Do I notice handsome men, or appreciate a man who treats me kindly? Of course. I'm not blind or dead.