Dear Abby: My father left my mother after 32 years of marriage. To say Mom was devastated would be putting it mildly. She tried to keep things cordial for the sake of her four kids, but Dad spurned her efforts.

My three brothers and I are now married with children of our own. Only recently have I been able to express how ashamed I am of myself and my siblings for the despicable way we have treated our mother for the past 17 years.

Dad was always arrogant, but he became even worse when he came into money. In our lives, Dad became No. 1. The reason? You guessed it -- the money. We put our mother down every chance we got, and our spouses chimed right in. We visited her only once or twice a year and never repaid the money she lent us. She knew she wasn't wanted or respected. Dad is clueless to the fact that we hang around only because of what we can get (and have gotten) from him. This is still true of my brothers, but I no longer want any part of this charade.