Dear Abby: "Disappearing Stepmother's" June 9 letter brought back memories of my stepdaughter "Amy's" wedding. Her mother also tried her best to prevent us from being involved. However, Amy included all four of her parents in the wedding. Dad and Stepdad walked her down the aisle together, and her mom and I lit the bride's candle together (though I'm sure she gritted her teeth when she did it).

The bride needs to develop a backbone and stand up to her mother. The dad (who's paying for half the wedding) should at least put his foot down about the guest list, and invite whomever he and his wife would like to be there. Wedding photos can be of the two families separately, including the stepmom. Otherwise, resentment will linger and poison the relationship between stepmom and stepdaughter. – Another Stepmom

Dear Stepmom: I encouraged "Disappearing" to attend the wedding to support her stepdaughter and inject a dose of reality into the "fantasy," and readers were quick to share their views: