Dear Abby: My brother left his wife of 9 years and his children for another woman. They now have a baby together. His wife nearly had a nervous breakdown because of it, and his children are understandably upset with the situation.

My question has to do with his new baby. I would like to send my brother a congratulatory card, even though his divorce isn’t final. Our mother is furious and refuses to speak to him, let alone congratulate him. Still, I would like to send a card and a gift for the baby. How should I handle this?

– Undecided