That Dallas that’s portrayed in “Dallas”? The one with the oil wells and cowboy hat-wearing people and all? That’s not really Dallas. But here’s where you’ll find all that:

Cowboys and cowboy hats: Cowtown. That would be Fort Worth. Visit the Stockyard District (fortworthstockyards.org) for daily trail drives down the street (at 11:30 a.m. and 4 p.m.) as well as plenty of stores in which to buy a cowboy hat.

Once you have the hat, please do not wear it to business meetings in Dallas or inside Cowboy Stadium. People will look at you like you’re a loon. You may wear your hat walking around the Fort Worth Stockyards as much as you like, though.