Former can’t-miss quarterback shuns drugs for art, family
Comments (...)Right from the first time, that very first time heroin entered Todd Marinovich’s body, it took him to a place he had been seeking most of his life.
A place as far away as possible from the reality of being Todd Marinovich, the boy raised to become the NFL’s greatest
quarterback.
“Complete,” Marinovich starts, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling loudly, “I don’t want to say numbness, because there’s a feeling of euphoria, so you’re not numb, but you’re numb to the negative feeling for sure.
“It’s just a warmth, and almost puts you in a place where you believe that’s your natural state,” he continued. “And the thing is, then you’re chasing that natural state that you think that you want to be at, and then it’s just a complete cycle that you get in that’s just vicious.”
For those under age 25 it’s now beyond memory, but there was a time when Marinovich was football’s Next Big Thing, with hype attached to him that would rival an Andrew Luck or Cam Newton.
From birth, he had been groomed by his father, Marv Marinovich, to be a star athlete. He was fed a strict diet that forbade him from having candy or any other sweet foods and drinks in order to stay pure, to keep his body in perfect condition. He grew up, under his father’s tutelage, training alongside pro athletes. It was like he was already one of them.
But the pressure of living up to those expectations may have become too much for Marinovich, a genuinely talented QB. Drugs soon entered the mix, and he started his escape from himself. First he tried marijuana, then mushrooms, then on to cocaine and ecstasy, and then heroin. Lots of heroin.
“I probably lost a decade,” said Marinovich, who played for Southern California in college and the NFL’s Los Angeles Raiders. “Yeah. Where I don’t even recall much of it. It’s just a blur. In and out of jail. Bad.”
From “Robo QB” as a kid to “Marijuana-vich” as a college student to plain old junkie as an adult.
Now, it’s time for the clean Marinovich, the professional artist, surfer dude and family man.
The man he wants to be. Not the man his father wanted him to be.
“I get a definite new chapter,” the 42-year-old Marinovich said. “Because I get to be a dad and pursue something that I’ve always been passionate about, and that’s art.
“But I am more than grateful that I am just still breathing.”
He said several factors contributed to him dropping his habit, but one of the more memorable sights was a look his mother gave him.
“She was one of the last people in my life at the time,” Marinovich said, “and as we all know, a mother’s look is worse than anything she could say.”
His new life has roots in the old one. When his father, himself a former USC and NFL player, first started training him to be a superstar and controlling his almost every move, Marinovich turned to art.
“When I was involved with sports or doing art, they were really similar in the fact that it brought me right into the moment,” Marinovich said. “Always doodling when I should have been paying attention in class.
“I knew from an early age that the two real classes, so to speak, PE and art, were never long enough it seemed like they were over right when they began. I kind of knew then that it was with that route I’d be most happy.”
Many of the items he sells have to do with two of the things he loves the most, sports and music. He has portraits of Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, Ken Stabler and other former football players mixed with paintings of George Harrison, Keith Richards and Bob Dylan.
But one of the more revealing pieces is a self-portrait drawing of a gaunt, dark face staring intently right back at the observer.
“I did that when I was all messed up. That was very accurate. That came from my head at the time, obviously how I felt,” Marinovich said. “It was definitely an accurate reflection of how I looked at the time.”
He’s still thin, but now he spends his time thinking about his wife, Alix, and two young children – his son Baron is 2½ and his daughter Coski is 6 months – rather than his next fix. He’s even forged a strong relationship with his father.
“When I look back to the early days, I just learned to accept my dad for who he is. He’s not changing,” Marinovich said. “He sees it, that he probably pushed a little too hard.
“We all made mistakes. I’m not holding on to that. There’s just no sense in it.”
Football has also come back into Marinovich’s life, mentoring young quarterbacks in Orange County and again going to games at USC, where Marinovich is still remembered for leading the Trojans over Michigan in that 1990 Rose Bowl, ending a two-game losing streak in “The Granddaddy of Them All.”
Although he never made it to the Super Bowl, Marinovich isn’t bitter about how life turned out.
“I wanted to play in a Rose Bowl, and I got to experience that. There was nothing like it,” Marinovich said. “At a pro level, I just wanted to play with the best guys, and I got to do that.
“But I’ve had a lot of peaks and valleys,” he said laughing, “for sure.”
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