Writers Need to Tighten It Up for the New Year

For 2012, writers should resolve to cut the flab.

To firm up the body, Mose suggests diet and exercise.

To firm up the copy, Mose suggests getting rid of most participles.

Concise writing isn't just one thing; it's a lot of little things.

So, cut back on the -ing words – just as you cut back on the sweets.

In a story this week on New Year's resolutions, these sentences jumped out at Mose:

Instead, the 42-year-old executive director is planning to drop 20 pounds in 2012.

He also will be learning to fly fish in 2012 with a close friend.

Mose suggests that writers try to stick with simple verbs: present, past, future.

How about plans to drop 20 pounds instead of is planning to?

How about will learn to fly fish instead of will be learning?

Same story had this line:

Lorraine Kopczynski of McHenry will be retiring in 2012 as president/CEO of Pioneer Center. ...

Wouldn't will retire work just as well – with 40 percent fewer syllables?

The Associated Press gave us this triple dipper recently.

Skeptical lawmakers give the proposal little chance of succeeding in state capitols around the country, and many aren't planning on introducing ban bills.

Try this:

Skeptical lawmakers give the proposal little chance of success in state capitols around the country, and many don't plan to introduce ban bills.

Resolved for 2012: Cut back on fatty foods – and fatty participles.